A precious commodity.
The currency of the soul.
We measure it out and distribute it only to those that seem to really grasp it's value. We examine every portion. Cautious. We let go and give it away.
At times, it's held with great care. Treasured. Valued.
Other times, it's discarded for personal gain. Carelessly thrown away. Dismissed as if it never mattered.
I so desperately want to trust. But, honestly, it scares me. The promise that trusting holds is euphoric but the pain that it often delivers is almost unbearable. So, I am forced to chose. Do I protect and hold on to this currency of my soul? Or give it away in hope that sharing it will somehow make it grow? Do I recount the many times that I have trusted and lost? Or hope for the many opportunities to trust and win?
Or is it simply a question of trust in God? Do I really know what it means to trust Him? Or do I even entertain that a holy God would even want me to trust Him?
I want to know Him more. But, maybe He is asking me to trust Him more. To bankrupt my soul by throwing all of my trust His way. And to stop handing out coins, to those who don't know there value.
4 comments:
This is a great post, Carol, I need to ponder this myself. Pain is so self-protective that it distorts my perspective. I'm glad this came today, thanks for writing on this.
Elaine
I have a very hard time trusting anyone, I have handed out a few unvalued coins that were aimlessly tossed away. I have been asking God," Where is my mission field? Where will you have me to go?" I feel I am in the whales belly, but yet I have no clue what it is I am asked to do. Maybe I am not trusting him enough to hear him.I don't understand why I can't hear him, maybe I can't believe he is talking to me! Lady of Grace
I love how God uses many things in my life as confirmation. Our Bible Study group is doing One In a Million by Priscilla Shirer..... one thing that God is showing me is that I must trust HIM with ALL that I am....not just the parts I am willing to allow Him to have. I must come before Him an empty and a clean vessel. He cannot fill me up with the abundant life until I rid myself of the "stuff" in my life and come clean before Him. Easy, NO! But necessary! Thank you for sharing!!
Trust is a gift.
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