An interesting thing happens on my weekly trip to the grocery store.
As I pull into my carport, I feel the overwhelming desire to carry everything in one trip.
I don't know why. But, I line plastic bags, arm through the loop, until I can hardly stand. I must carry everything in one trip.
The plastic tugs my arm towards earth and I struggle and stumble across the threshold, dropping all the bags just to the right of the door.
And in some strange way, I feel a sense of pride. Pride that I don't have to make another trip. Pride that I've been able to drag all my culinary treasures and scatter them all across the linoluem. Bread squashed. Eggs broken. Can dented. But, I only made one trip. And the circulation in my right wrist will return in a couple of hours and all will be well.
I shared my one trip pride with the high school guy who bagged my groceries.
He said, "I call that the lazy load."
I carry a lazy emotional load.
I drag all of my issues and problems before God in hopes that I will make into His presence and scatter them all at His feet. He'll wave His magic wand and I will stand stright issue free and ready to change the world.
I feel God whispering to my heart.
"Lay dow your lazy load. Bring me those bad habits, nursed wounds, damaged emotions, broken promises. You can bring them all. But, know that YOU can only handle me dealing with them one at a time. Stop the struggling, stumbling, rushing to make it and rest in my sanctifying love that is working in you every day. It's ok to make more than one trip. That's why I want to meet with you everyday."
And now I see...there's more work to do...than I can handle in one day. And a God patient enough to love me through every trip.