This post is odd. I own that. If you dare read on, you'll understand why.
This week I had to do something hard. Our dog of 12 years was involved in an accident that led me to the decision to have him put to sleep.
In the conversations with the vet, I had an aha moment. He examined Baxter the wonder dog and made his assessment. He told me, "The wounds will heal. It's the paralysis that will take his life."
Something in my mind recorded that statement and it has been on repeat ever since.
Because emotionally, I think that's so true. At least it has been for me. As I have looked to God to heal my heart, I have also been protective and cautious, even to the point of paralysis.
My trust was wounded. And to protect myself, I trusted no one. Paralysis.
My relationships were broken. To keep from being hurt again, I isolated. Paralysis.
My feelings were hurt. So I wouldn't feel at all. Paralysis.
I know that seems like a stretch. I am ok with you thinking I am the weirdest person ever. I don't see Jesus in the Parkay or pretend that God spoke through the vet. I know He could. But, what I do know is this: I learned a truth in life. It's not the wounds that will take my life. But, if I become paralyzed in my emotions, that will take the life out of me.
Not really where I want to live.
So, as hard as this week has been, I have learned a valuable lesson. I'm not willing to go through life wounded and paralyzed.
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24 comments:
LOVE this post, Carol. Very sorry for your loss, but thankful for the lesson along the road.
I'm sorry about your pup. I remember when our Winston died, Garrett was a little bigger than Ella and he cried and said, "I wanna die and go to heaven to be with Winston."
I love how the Lord uses "random" statements from people to cut to the core truth.
People pleasing and approval seeking are my thing...so every time I go about doing something good, the accuser says, "You're only doing it so people will brag on you and want you around."
I've had times when I've wanted to close up shop and quit encouraging, quit serving, quit loving on people because no matter how hard I pray and no matter how sincerely I do things, I still get accused.
But I can't stop because it's what I was put here to do. So...I'll just keep praying and keep telling the jerk devil to buzz off.
Thanks for your post Carol.
I love this Carol...and for the record I wouldn't care if you did see Jesus in the Parkay. Lol. I'm so sorry bout you pup. But what a profound statement! Not to stay paralyzed but to get up off that mat and walk! Love you girl! Can't wait to hear you on the conference call and see you again at She Speaks!!! Hugs!!!
AMAZING! What insight - I TRULY needed this as I have been living paralized for awile now.
Such a beautiful word Carol. I am so sorry for your loss but I know that God can use those difficult times to reach others and to grow closer to Him. I will be praying for you and thank you again!
So sorry for your loss, Carol . . . you made a hard but compassionate choice out of love. I pray His peace over you as you grieve your loss. Really liked your blog. I've been healing over a deep loss and breaking of trust. I recently read "Beyond Boundaries - Learning to Trust Again in Relationships," by Dr. John Townsend, a Christian psychologist. It was life-changing!! I know you would be blessed by this book :)
Dear Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss. A good dog is a faithful companion.
Isn't it amazing how God brings grace and truth and healing through hard things? Thank you so much for posting this. This is not a stretch, to me. I've done what you've done and living the wounded, paralyzed life is so far from God's hope for us. Blessings in recovery.
Elaine
I am so sorry about your Baxter :( - I know how hard that is (they truly are family members) ... but thank you so much for sharing - wow ...what a powerful statement (it pretty much smacked me in the face today - and I needed to hear it.)
It's so hard to say goodbye to a beloved furry family member. Praying for healing for the family. As for the paralysis thought, how profound! Thanks for being willing to appear "strange" for us!
What a simple yet amazing thought. Just beautiful.
Wow, LOVE this post I know exactly where you are coming from.....but never realized it that way. Thanks for sharing.
Sorry for your sweet doggie.
I so understand your post from beginning to end. I also had to choose to put a furry canine family member to sleep after 13 years and it was such a hard choice. I will absolutely pray for your loss. However, I also understand the paralysis comment too. I too have been there and didn't realize it until you shared this. Such a profound moment for me. Thank you for sharing. It is amazing how much wisdom we can gain from dealings with all creatures great and small...
It's amazing how God can use something like this to bring us to this place. Love you and I'm so, so sorry about your dog. :(
Carol, I'm so sorry for your special baby. They do have a way of finding the very depths of our hearts, don't they. thank you for sharing your story, but more importantly for sharing a valuable lesson!! Can't wait to hear you on the conference call!!
Thank you for your message!
Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I love the insight God gave you. Sorry about your puppy :(
Described me to a T.. great post. Love it and am going to think some more on it.
What awesome insight God gave you. I am soo sorry for your pain and having to put your dog to sleep. I had to do it 4 years ago... I am so glad you shared your insight.
You are NOT the wierdest person ever! Thank you for your honesty and transparency.
Oh Carol, I can totally relate to paralysis.. Our Father has been working on me with this issue the past year. LOL I have been learning to at least admit it and open the door for healing! So great to know i am not the only one.. This is a wonderfully ministering blog. thank You for sharing your heart1 You can see jesus anywhere you want , even in the parquey! LOLOL
Blessings on your day!
Tracey
Thank you for your nugget of wisdom. God will see you through this and set you free from any paralysis. Sorry about your fur baby.
I loved your post here! I've never really thought of it that way before but it's so very true. Thanks so much for helping to open my eyes to this. I have been emotionally paralyzed for years, all in an attempt to keep myself from being hurt again. Your post was a real eye opener, Thank You!
sorry for the loss of your precious dog.
Loved hearing you on Melissa Taylor's conference call. I love the blog. Keep up the good work.
Nothing weird about this post! Lots to chew on, lady. Thanks so much for sharing what goes on in that pretty head of yours.
Just wanted to say thank you for writing these words. Thank you for allowing your circumstance to be used for JESUS!!! God Bless you!!!! Jody Thompson, from Indiana
Unbelievable. Yet, with the God I serve more than believable. I was directed here by a friend that knew I needed to learn about beauty from ashes. I then followed the path to "Yes, Lord, I will take your Hand. Take you at Your Word and take Your Promises." I then chose "I can't cook a lick" link to find that God does want me to let him heal my wounds by reading, "The wounds will heal. It's the paralysis that will take his life." I know that God has taken me onto his lap, held me, rocked me and is now whispering hope to me. Thanks, Ladies.
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